1) I checked the temperature before walking to school on Thursday of last week and it said it was -4. As a visual for how cold it was, here is a picture of my car door tied shut. It was so cold that the latch was frozen open on my door, keeping it from closing.
2) Overheard on campus: (sorority girl to another) "He said the only thing he hadn't done in a sorority was throw up."
3) Stacie's response to a commercial showing children trying to make orange juice with fresh (un-cut) oranges and a manual juicer: "Are these kids idiots? You have to fucking cut it in half first."