Macchiato and lingerie

Monday afternoon Mom and I met to do a little bridal shower shopping for my friend Meghann, whose shower is this Saturday. I had been up pretty late the night before and was kind of dragging. (Un?)luckily, we were in an area of southern OP with lots of shopping and restaurants and therefore a Barnes and Noble which houses a Starbucks. Gross, I know, but it is caffeine, and that's what I desperately needed. I'm going to describe for you my conversation with the "barista" who was working. I don't think I even need to describe how much this frustrated me. I'm sure it will be obvious just by my responses to her.

Jennifer: Hello. My mom would like a nonfat latte, and I would like a macchiato.

Barista: OK. A nonfat latte and a caramel macchiato.

J: No. A latte and a regular macchiato. Just a double shot with some milk.

B: Do you want to try our espresso on ice?

J: Can you describe that for me?

B: It is a double shot, shaken over ice with a shot of milk.

J: That sounds pretty good.

(Barista grabs a 12 oz. cup)

J: Uh, what's that for?

B: That's for the espresso on ice.

J: But why is it such a big cup?

B: Because it's a double shot plus milk.

J: So, it's basically an iced latte?

B: No. It's shaken on ice first.

J: OK. (pause) No. (pause) That's not what I want. I just want something that comes in a small cup. A double shot with a little bit of milk on top. That's it.

B: (Barista grabs the 12 oz. cup again) So you want this with milk on top?

J: (at this point, I'm having to pause and take many deep breathes) No. Do you have any cups smaller than that? Do you have a cup just for espresso?

B: Yes, we have this. (pulls out an espresso cup.)

J: Perfect! I want that cup. I want a double shot in there, with a little bit of milk on top.

B: But is that big enough?

J: Yes. I don't want anything bigger than that.


When I go to pay, I try to use the Starbucks gift card that I was given at Christmas. I thought, perfect! I can finally use this card! I pull it out to give it to her and she says, "We don't take those cards. We're not really Starbucks, we're Barnes and Noble and we use Starbucks coffee." I started pointing to the Starbucks logo on the cup, but decided not to argue and just paid so I could get the hell out of there.

By the way, this entire conversation took so long that my mom was able to walk across the entire Barnes and Noble, go to the bathroom, walk back, and I was just then starting to pay for the drinks which took me so long to order. When mom came up to me, she asked if I wanted to sit down and enjoy the coffee, but I looked at her, said, "No. I need to get out of here." She responded with, "Oh no. What happened and what did you say?" She knows me so well. Though, I would like to point out that I was polite the entire time. Mainly just astonished that I was having such a conversation.

Cut to the next store we were in: Victoria's Secret.

I'm dragging mom around the store trying to find something for the bachelorette party. As I'm trying to explain to my mom what this present was for, a saleswoman, better yet, a salesgirl comes up to us. I'm holding what I've chosen already, am in the middle of telling mom what lingerie is for, when this girl comes up and (interrupting me) says, "Are you looking for a strapless bra?"

I was a bit confused, thinking that maybe she was talking to whomever might be on the other end of her headphone, so I said, "Are you talking to me?"

She said, "Yes."

I said, "No. I'm not. This is what I want." (holding up the piece I'd found.)

She said, "OK. Well, if you want any strapless bras they're over here, and if you want we also have these pieces over here."

Me: "Thanks, but we've already looked around and this is what I want."

I really don't like being mean, so I'm just going to be honest here. This girl was an idiot. There is no better word to describe her. I left feeling completely astonished with how stupid she seemed. I really don't think any amount of schooling would help her. She is just screwed, and I'm so thankful that I'm not her. At the end of these two experiences, I left feeling like I wasn't communicating very well, and that maybe my English was failing me. Later on that night, I went downtown where my desire for a vodka soda was immediately understood. I now think it's just southern OP that is the cause of my difficulties. That's fine with me, I don't really like it down there anyway.